livingitup

“You encourage them just enough,” my friend, Alex, explains to me after she’s had to dismiss the 5th “scary” guy from my vicinity.  She’s very good at being the witch in our duo.  Thank God, or I’d probably be in a shallow grave by now.  It seems whenever we go out, unhinged males seem to magnetize towards me.  Okay, truly, it’s whenever I go out–in public.  And often, it follows me home.

Are all of the males ax murderers?  Of course not.  Some are just odd.  They range from awkward all the way up the gambit.   Are some of them twisted enough to have their own biographies published after their crimes are discovered?  Absolutely.

Here’s the problem.  I’m generally optimistic.  I find the bright spot and let that rule me.  Usually that’s a decent philosophy.  However, it seems that when interacting with others, naivete is just plain dangerous.

1. I smile when people approach me.  Even if I don’t find them all that interesting or attractive.  Normal people smile back and keep going on their merry way.  The others make a beeline for me with imagined thoughts of my radiating lust.  Those are the weirdos.
2. When people talk to me, I always address them back.  Even if they say idiotic things.  Even if something about them irritates me within the first 5 minutes.  I should know better, but what’s the harm in being nice?  (Sometimes it’s there.)
3. I’m curious about people who think differently than me–generally the entire population.  (Now if you think like me, I truly am interested.)  Why do they do that?  I like to pull their philosophies and reasoning out of them.  Makes great research for writing.  Also makes people think you are into them personally, I’m learning.  (Wow, she’s hot, and she likes me.  We have a connection.)
4. I don’t want to hurt anyone.  I avoid conflict.  I avoid real issues.  I’m deadly loyal & feel obligations towards others.  I’m a guilt-ridden soul.

All of these things work together to cause me major issues.  It’s a good thing I have that psychology degree.  I need it.  Maybe I should put it to use on me…

I was really first introduced to this debate back in college.  My friend decided to get her first puppy, an adorable English Terrier.  He was a mess of a pup, but adorable.  I enjoyed meeting Rounder and playing with him.  What I soon learned, though, was that Rounder wasn’t just a puppy.  Rounder was also a full-fledged baby.

Soon conversations revolved entirely around Rounder.  He was the center of his “mommy’s” world.  Rounder had his own chair at the table, his own electric blanket, his own wardrobe.  During the day, Cher would wake up early to drop him off at doggy daycare.  She insisted, “It’s not because he needs to be watched.  He’s really well-behaved and doesn’t make a mess.  I just want him to learn how to play with other dogs.  He needs to be socialized.”  The ticket price of doggy-socialization?  $35 a day, plus $25 for 10 minute walks twice daily–$225 a week, plus food.  (Did you know that most parks are free?)

Even for those that don’t tend to go all out, dogs seem to take the place of a child.  Even I love sharing treats with my gorgeous pooch.  Is it really so wrong to let them lie in bed with you?  Some dog trainers and vets think that some of the things we do because we love our pets might be harmful for them.  When I worked with some dog rescue, I picked up some things.  Of course, there is plenty of gray room, too.

Table scraps are one of the big issues–not only can this cause behavior issues, but health issues can arise as well.  Dog food is made for dogs.  That simple.  Human food–and really how many of us are eating healthily–is not.  Not only does it often contain too much fat, but spices and enzymes in human food can cause your pet stomach problems, and not just the smelly or messy kind, either.  Sometimes the problems are so severe, your pet may need medical attention.  Unsalted veggies (carrots or green beans) are probably the best thing to share if you are going to, but many dogs won’t give them a second lick.

Crates… Okay, so most people tend to agree with this one.  Using a crate can save you a ton of trouble, and can make your dog feel more secure.  However, people chose to use them differently.  Is it okay to leave dogs in crates for extended periods?  (Not weeks, but hours)  “No!” my heart screams, but I’ve seen some very well adjusted dogs that spent most of their time in a crate.  However, their owners did work with them extensively when they were out of the crates.  Most dogs tend to like their crates, at least after the first few weeks.  Many continue to return to crates to sleep, and treat the area almost like a bedroom.  (Okay, I know I’m personifying here, but that is the best comparison I have.)

I was never concerned with dogs sleeping on beds.  In fact, as a child I had wanted a lower bed so that my dog could sleep with me.    However, now caring for Rottweilers, I see the point in keeping them down.  (Other breeds could benefit from this, too.)  Not only do rotties shed like nobody’s business, but they are leaners, too.  Stand or sit near a Rottweiler for a while and you’ll know what I mean.  They have a tendency to lean their body against you.  Sometimes this seems sweet–aww she’s cuddling up with me–but it has something to do with dominance, too.  You might notice this when you realize you are being knocked over by that leaning dog.

In case you weren’t already aware, dogs are very hierarchical by nature.  Put dogs together, and one dog is going to be the boss.  That’s just how it is.  Sometimes it is good to set limits on dogs.  Mostly this is so they recognize who is in charge, but really, you’ll thank me when you visit that house where the dogs rule the roost.

Some dogs seem to need a more regiment that others.  Rules that seemed silly to me at first, make sense to me now.  You should enter a room before your dog, unless you tell her to go there.  The dog should wait on you (he will, if you make it clear you expect him to–more on this later).  The dog should wait on you to tell her to eat after you’ve filled her bowl.  The dog should be limited to certain furniture.  I allow mine to sleep on the old couch in the bedroom, but she cannot climb onto the couch in living room.

I still can’t be entirely straight-faced and serious with dogs.  Who would want to?  But I set boundaries, let the dog know what to expect, give opportunities for him to please me, and reward good behavior with positive reinforcement (’good girl’, petting, or treats).  I guess that even though I’m being my dog’s master, I’m also treating my dog like a child.  Just a well-disciplined child.

Where do you stand?  Dog as child or dog as mere animal?  Or is it something inbetween?

It arrived today–at least today to my classroom.  My postcard all the way from Malaysia!  My students were so excited–and they weren’t the only ones.  I was quite happy, too.  The postcard was of a “wet market” where fruits and veggies are sold.  We spent most of homeroom trying to see which foods we recognized and which we didn’t.  This really is turning into a great lesson for them, and I am learning a ton about their sheltered lives (even from the ones that travel).  Many of these issues don’t come up in the normal course of each day.  The postcard is giving us a valid reason for authentic discussions about a number of issues.  Sometimes I forget the things I have learned since I was 11.  (Or else, I don’t realize how strange the world seems to most 11-13 year olds.)

Thank you, Lynne, for sharing with us.  We really appreciate the time you went into handwriting us a message.  This was a great idea.  I welcome any others.  Please also check out Lynne’s site at http://amalaysianabroad.today.com.  Not only does she share some great insights into Malaysia culture, but she also shares her experiences in the US and her travels.

Interested in sharing your hometown, culture, or travels with 11-13 year olds?  Let me know.  We would be exceptionally excited.   Become a star in our eyes!

There are so many things that I want to try.  It seems that I need a push to actually get out there and do them, though.  That’s just another great thing about the local meet-ups I’ve found on MeetUp.com.  In the next few months just one of my local groups will be going hang gliding, white water rafting, and dining in some great local venues.  I am terribly excited.  None of these things would make it off my to-do list this summer without this group.  And there are so many other groups in my area.

This isn’t limited to my hometown.  There are meet-ups all over the country.  There’s not one in your town?  Create your own.  There are great people out there that love some of the same things you do.  Don’t miss out.

Money might be tight, but life doesn’t have to be dull.  Make the most of it.  Here are some simple, basically free activities that really make you feel connected.

1.  Have a music-listening event.  Take turns listening to each other’s music collections.  Is this song really great?  Sing along.  Share your song related stories.  Make playlists for different events or people you know. 

2.  Visit a bookstore.  Chain bookstores are quite nice, with their big comfy chairs, coffee shops, and endless supply of books, but don’t overlook used bookstores.  Very fun, some of the items you find might amaze you, and sometimes you get really great deals.  Get into conversations with the staff, too.  Some of my favorite items I received for free because a worker/owner couldn’t imagine another person (that person being me) being in the world without the”must-know” item. 

3.  Have a game night or day.  Visit a friend’s place or invite a small crowd.  Bring a dish to share and a game.  Enjoy a great evening.  Or take over a local coffee shop for an hour or two during a slow afternoon.  (For larger groups, check ahead first and get the manager’s blessing.)

4.  Do something scary!  That’s right.  Nothing says, “Y’all are the best people ever!” like jumping off a cliff together or going on a hunt for paranormal activity (even if you don’t believe in it).  Skydive, hang glide, take a midnight cemetery tour or a ghost walk, try that scary looking diner you passed that one time when you were lost.

5.  Head outdoors.  Set up a hike or a game of volleyball at a local park.  Bike, run in a marathon together, play horseshoes, grill out.  

Okay, it’s not here yet, but it’s coming.  I just can’t wait.  Like those little woodland creatures, I feel as though I’ve hibernated all winter long.  Now I’m creeping out–very slowly–from my cozy den, and I’m looking for signs of spring.  What are they?

Courtesy of Zack Webb.  zackwebb.com

1. Those yellow flowers (We called jarnigans, but are otherwise known as yellow trout lillies)
2. Buds on the trees
3. Kattydids & crickets (Kattydids are another term for locusts that make a beautiful noise outside.  My phone ringtone is this, so when I first heard them outside last week, I was running around and looking for my phone.  Haha!)
4. Sunlight in the morning on my drive to work
5. Warm sunshine
6. Coats becoming jackets… becoming just long-sleeves, becoming short-sleeves
7. Birds in droves!  Coming home–or passing us by for colder skies….

What signs do you look for?

Okay, they won’t make you cry.  Your heart won’t break, and you probably won’t wish your life is anything like the main characters.  Still, some of these action movies are just plain fun.  Put the kids in bed and get ready for some “bang, bang, shoot ‘em up” films.

1. Tombstone–Maybe the best western out there.  Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp, classic stuff here.  Not only that, but it covers some important issues of the time that you don’t often see.  Laudanum addictions and consumption.  Need I say more?  Well, maybe,”I’m your huckleberry.”
2. Boondock Saints–Two Irish brothers are attacked in their home. They fend off the attackers, take themselves to jail to report the situation.  There they have an epiphany.  They decide that God has chosen them to rid the world of evil people.  Humor, murder, mayhem, and a lovely dose of that Irish accent will keep you watching.
3. The Last Boy Scout–Bruce Willis is a great action hero.  The dry humor alone makes this a great viewing.
4. Die Hard (any of them)–Bruce Willis really does rock the action hero scene.  Once again he is a part of a marriage in collapse, bless his dysfunctional-family soul.  Terrorists, bombs, money, and a line you are sure to memorize.  Yippie ki-yay….
5. Terminator (especially #2)–One of Arnold Schwarzenegger defining roles.  Futuristic, eerie, and full of quotable lines.  It’s a must see!
6. 300–History in a lovely, gruesome fashion.  Okay, maybe not entirely accurate, but there are some great details in this war film.
7. Black Hawk Down–Modern war (almost) made realistic.  This is about an operation in Somalia that hits closer to life than many of the glorious battle scenes of other movies.
8. Independence Day–It’s quirky, but that makes it fun.  The story-lines are entertaining, the characters are likable–and understandable, even if they are maybe too “good” to be realistic.
9. Transporter–Anyone that can fight in a suit and not rip a seam wins my vote.  He’s calm, collected, and less morally ambiguous than he wants to be.  The movie is smooth.
10. Bourne Trilogy–a story worth getting into, although it’s really a turn from the books.  Jason Bourne makes you curious.
11. The Rundown–A aspiring chef (the Rock) earns his keep by being a strong arm for a wealthy loan shark.  One more job should give our hero the money he needs to quit the business and open his restaurant.  The last job just happens to be hunting down the loan shark’s son.  The situation is not, big surprise, as straightforward as it would seem.  Quite funny.
12. I-Robot–Don’t trust the robots… Conspiracy, futuristic life, and an enjoyable character (played by Will Smith) make this one worth your while.

Here’s a start.  The ones at the bottom are probably more “chick”-friendly.  They have a bit more Hollywood glitz and lack some of the grit of other action movies.  All are quite enjoyable, assuming you have someone entertaining to watch them with.

Movies are a passion of mine.  I love to go to the theater.  I love to rent them.  I even like to own them.  I’ve been having movie nights for years now.  Great movies, stupid movies, turn-the-volume-down-and-make-up-the-words-for-them movies.  Sometimes you need a movie, friends, and a pint or two (or three) of Ben & Jerry’s. Here are some classics–everyone should watch at least once.

Great Movies You’ll Want to Quote (that don’t take themselves too seriously)

1.  Monty Python (anything) — More often really stupid than not, but great sense of irony and humor.   The most well known is Monty Python and the Holy Grail (”It’s only a fleshwound!”), but there are many others to choose from.

2.  The Princess Bride — No way am I calling this a dumb movie.  Guys, don’t run away because of the title.  This really is a crowd pleaser, even for you.  Sword fighting, giant rodents, rhyming games, torture, pirates, vengeance, and Andre the Giant all work together to make this a classic.  Hilarious and engaging–make yourself watch it.  Watch it all the way through.  You will watch it again — BY CHOICE. Then the next time someone suggests watching it, you will answer, “As you wish.”

  3.  Adventures in Babysitting — a weird turn of events (involving criminals, a centerfold, and skyscraper scaling) lead to an interesting evening for an unsuspecting babysitter and her charges.
4.  Surf Ninjas — Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds.  You still need to watch it.  Two unsuspecting brothers find out that they are princes from another land.  With the help of a mentor/guardian and a future predicting hand-held game (old school style), they and their none-too-bright friend embark on a journey to fulfill their destiny and save their people.  I’d cut through all these words, but “as we all know, money can’t buy knives.”  (It’s stupid-funny.  Just approach is lightly.)
These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to light-hearted movies with spirit.  They all breach gender and age barriers.  (Although, I wouldn’t recommend them for really young children.)  Any others you think are worth-while classics?  Older movies that should be viewed for the wacky humor?  Let me know.  I’d hate to leave great ones unmentioned–and I’m always looking for new ones to try.

I have only used Entrecard about a month now.  So far, I have really enjoyed it.  There are so many great blogs out there–and I probably wouldn’t have found them on my own.  It’s also helped to draw people to this site.  For those of you that don’t know, if you have a website, you need to publicize it.  Sharing it with friends and family isn’t enough.  To really get it out there, you need to find the audience.  Using Entrecard draws people to your site because they benefit from dropping by.  They drop by, peruse the site, and click the ‘drop’ button.  Hopefully, they get hooked on what they see, and want to return.  You can also advertise your blog through Entrecard.  It’s basically free to advertise, too.  You earn the credits to advertise by visiting other sites–see?  Benefit for dropping by a site.

I want to give some love to my top droppers of, well, ever, since this is only my first month.

1. Confessions of a Psychotic Housewife –yep it’s as entertaining as it sounds.   She also shares some pretty interesting deals, too.
2. Eating in New Zealand –makes me want to travel again.
3. Diet Secrets Online –trying to get me motivated…
4. Creative Cafe –a really neat idea-a social network with heart.
5. The Fearless Blog –Some very interesting posts.
6. Juice and Smoothie Recipes–How can you not love a recipe called Hot Chocolate Cola??

THANKS YOU!!!!
What techniques do you use to  publicize your blogs?

In order to really live  it up, I think it is important to know what you truly want to do.  By determining what activities are important to you, you can make sure you work towards them in life. Here’s my list of

16 things to do before you die

1. Make an impromptu road trip.  Take off for a long weekend of adventure.  Who knows what’s in store?
2. Run in a marathon or bike a challenging ride for charity.  Do good for others, while doing something good for yourself.
3. Face your fears.  Afraid of heights?  Snakes?  Fish?  Take it on–slowly at first.  You can do it.

   

4. Sky dive.  (Enough said.)
5. Create something useful by hand.  Treasure it.  Brag about it.  Add it to your will.
6. Spend an afternoon in a hammock.  Lay back, read a book, nap… Don’t do work.  Don’t think about work.  The work will still be there when you return to reality.  Be it’s boss.  Make it wait for you.

   

7. Get a pet.
8. Participate in a research study.  There are plenty out there, of all varieties.  Find something that interests you.  You can find them online or at a local university.
9. Learn how to dance–at least one kind.  The salsa is easy, if you have good hips.  East Coast Swing is fun, too.
10. Create a signature dish.  Cook it.  Share it.  Let people beg you for the recipe.  
11. Find two adult friends that you can share things with.  Enjoy them.  Laugh.  Act like kids again.
12. Love with abandon.  You never really get as much out of life if you are only smart and safe.  
13. Start a collection.  Make a library of books, movies, or music.  Fill shelves with elephants.  Get anything that comes in that foam green color you like so much.
14. Have your passport filled with stamps.  Travel.  Everywhere you go, make an acquaintance.  Write to them after you leave.  Stay in touch.
15. Take that huge risk you’ve been dying to try, even if others tell you it’s not very practical.  It’s your life–try anything your heart leads you too.
    
16. Make a difference.  Do something that makes the world a better place–in a tangible way.