Jan 17 2009
Resolution 1: Make Single Friends
I’ve watched weddings. Umpteen thousand. I have enough Save the Date and Invite memorabilia to paper my kitchen. It is a small kitchen–and I am a recovering pack-rat–but you get the point. There is something good to be said about marriage, and a great time to say it is at a wedding. But when you are giving that speech, and you face your audience, you’d like to see one fellow singleton gazing back up at you (inbetween the eye rolling, that is).
Being single is wonderful! I get the final say in my life. I make decisions. What to eat for supper? Tonight? Soup. Tomorrow? Pancakes. Why not? (Okay, I know why not….) I can spend time with friends, I can flirt, I can budget in that snow tubing trip tomorrow, even though I “can’t afford” new blinds to replace the one the cat used like a playground slide. I can sleep with the TV off and keep the house at a comfy 78 degrees all summer. Life is good.
Being single is beautiful–but it’s nice to be able to share it with others. Everyone deserves a friend that is in a similar lifestage. People to whine to, people to celebrate with. Besides, what good is it to have all weekend to hang out with friends if your friends don’t have that same good fortune? So what do you do once you find yourself left behind?
Race ahead, of course. Take up new hobbies. Explore old ones. Volunteer for something that matters to you. Make a life for yourself. When you have a life, you will find others that have something in common with you. Question my logic? Take salsa dance classes. Other people take the classes. Look! You and other people are both taking salsa classes. A common thread. Priceless.
I’ve also found a secret. Very often, the guys you meet may not want to be your friend so much as they want to date you. Want to keep things more platonic? Find a local singles group in your area. MeetUp.com can help you find local ones. Many places of worship also offer these groups. Keep your mind open, and stay positive. You can meet some truly wonderful people. Soon you will revive your social calender without feeling as though you are an outsider.
